Peace of Mind, Piece of Time

Memorial Day Parade in Peninsula

How does time go by so quickly?  We go from little dolphin squeaks to belly rolls to first words to lots of "No's!" to "why do you have a vagina, Mommy" in like, three blinks.

This morning, Wild One told me he needed to use the potty.  I expected him to laboriously climb on top of the toilet, scootch over on the seat, centering his positioning just so, as he always adorably does, and pee. 

Fresh 'Do by Miss Claire

Instead, in slow motion, I watched him pull down his pants, pull out his penis, and pee standing up.  Pee was everywhere, but my shock was as a result of never having witnessed this standing-peeing before.  No one in my parenting team had mentioned this new pee positioning (as a working mom, I am fortunate enough to have a pretty stacked team: my husband, Clever, our two amazing childcare providers, and my mother and father-in-law).

 
Basically, I now have one more tiny man living under my roof: my first baby, whose once wrinkly, chubby arms are now straight, and I can distinguish his wrists from his hands.  I feel excited for the little person he is, the independence he's gained, and the maturity that is noticeable in just a few short weeks.  With those excited, proud feelings, come the nostalgic tears, knowing we will never go backwards.  Wild One tells me all the time, "When I am in your belly again, I will be a baby again."  I don't correct him or tell him we don't grow in that direction.  I just remind him how much I loved it when he was in my belly (most of my pregnancy ;)), but I love it even more that he is out and I now know him.

Memorial Day Parade in Peninsula

The Thinker's vocabulary has exploded in recent weeks.  Husband and I went out of town for an adult weekend, and when we returned, I was astounded by all his words.  He doesn't have the clearest enunciation, but he sure does have plenty to say.  It's also intriguing to watch the variations in personalities between the boys.  They are close enough together in age (17 1/2 months) to remember easily some of Wild One's personality just a few seasons ago.  And when I can't remember, I just look at the videos on Instagram and my iPhoto Stream, and the memories come flooding back.

The Thinker has no time for messes.  Yesterday afternoon, after a snack of apples and water, he spilled a tad while getting down from his chair.  "Uh-oh! Mess," and then a run to the kitchen rag, figuring out that you can't pull on both sides of the rag at once to free it from the oven handle, and then loosening it to clean up hastily the bothersome spill.  MELT MY OCD HEART.

He also has no time for movies or "Ventures" (The Avengers) when there are books waiting to be read.  I asked him if he wants to be a big boy or a baby, and he quickly replied "Baby," but the irony is that he has never been willing to be the baby.  The Thinker is ever exceeding developmental milestone target ages, but because he's the third, I don't read those weekly update e-mails I poured over with Wild One.  He has climbed in his own high chair since he started scaling furniture, he wants nothing to do with being held when we're outside, and he is constantly mimicking his brothers and seems very frustrated if someone tells him he's not big enough to do something.  When he flashes his captivating smile and squints his little eyes (his version of a wink), he steals my heart over and over.  I find myself looking at Husband, tilting my head, and without words asking "can you believe we get to be this guy's parents?"

7th Grade Band Spring Concert at Blossom

And lastly, I have had the opportunity to coach Clever's U12 soccer team for the last eight weeks.  I have been so spoiled with deep conversations to and from practice each Monday and Wednesday.  I know so many more arbitrary facts about The Avengers, Jurassic World and Star Wars.  I've learned about the genteelness in Clever's personality, and he teaches me about acceptance with change.  He doesn't know that when he confides in me, I am honored to be the recipient of his secrets.  This role, as his stepmom, reiterates how lucky I am to have landed in this spot, in this marriage, in this family, in the Universe.
Yesterday, I heard him ask Husband, "Dad, what are you afraid of?"  I didn't hear the answer, but I am amazed at the intrigue and intellect that drives him to ask such a question.  I am grateful that his parents haven't taught him fear is weak, but instead, a part of humanness.

So, I broke the rule.  I blogged, even though no one has a birthday anytime soon.  I've accepted that I cannot stop time, but it seems to me that the best way in handling that, is to continue to put action into my "peace of mind" on a daily basis.  With serenity, I can appreciate the above mentioned "little things."

Watching Clever's Band Concert

"To be able to look back upon one's life in satisfaction, is to live twice." -Kahlil Gibran