When A Lax Sleep/Eat Schedule Turns Into Complacency

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Let me preface by saying that I am no sleep expert.  I have no formal education about baby sleeping habits, and I am in tune with the fact that each and every baby is different.  If you're having a difficult time getting your wee one to sleep, please contact your pediatrician for more information and suggestions about what your baby needs.

I've been pregnant and nursing, then nursing while pregnant, then pregnant, and now nursing since August 2011.  I am very familiar with sleep habits evolving (and sometimes being practically non-existent) with the introduction of a new tiny human.  I've felt exhausted with 12 hours of sleep and a two hour nap, and I've been extremely productive with less than four hours of intermittent sleep.  My first belly baby started sleeping through the night in his own room at three months old.  Wild One would usually wake up around 5 AM for an early-morning nursing session, and afterwards would stay asleep until at least 9:30.  I now refer to this time in our lives as "super-freaking-spoiled-and-an-incredible-gift-from-God-neither-to-be-forgotten-nor-minimized."

Wild One will be two in six days, and our youngest, The Thinker was six months old last Thursday.  Maybe it is these milestones that spawned a sudden realization that The Thinker has not been consistently sleeping since... ever.  When we brought him home, he was sleeping between the Fisher Price Rock-N-Play and our bed.  I love these precious moments cuddling in bed as he nurses, especially because it's so fresh in my memory with Wild One that they don't stay small for very long.  But, as a full-time professional, I'm finding it difficult to get "wholesome" sleep in the half-awaken state caused by a nuzzling/fidgeting baby.

Side-Note: When Wild One would twiddle his fingers or comfort-rub our arms while sleeping or nursing, Husband referred to his tiny touches as "angel-kisses."  The Thinker's rough pinches and constant movement have earned the nickname, "demon-kisses."  I promise we love all our children the same.

Around three months, we put The Thinker in his shared room with Wild One and started letting them fall asleep at the same time.  This worked well, until someone got sick, and we moved The Thinker back into our room.  Since that time (maybe a month ago), we have deviated from laying him down in his crib at bedtime.  Instead, out of convenience, we have allowed him to fall asleep in the Swing or Rock N Play.  I fear our lax attitude is probably in response to the strict stance about schedules I implored on my family just eighteen months before.  This combined with our broad acceptance that we "can't screw them up," has now lead to complacency in my youngest's sleep habits... and this momma is tired (pronounced in a thick Southern accent as "taaarrrr-id").

I've been taught that in order to find directions to my destination, I must first identify where I am right now.  I've made a list of the differences between Wild One and The Thinker's schedules/habits at their respective ages.  Hopefully our solution will allow less yawn-time and more play-time:

September 2012: First High Chair Experience

Wild One (4 1/2 months)

Wild One

-Initial sleeps were usually in a flat-lying Pack N Play or our bed.

-Started eating solids around four months (per recommendation of our pediatrician); Husband and I were so excited to watch his face light up from sharing in meal-time!

-I made all my own baby food for him (out of sweet potatoes, squash, bananas, apples, etc.): this was an exhausting process I was hoping to avoid this go-round.

-Ate three meals a day, with snacks in between.

-Nursed himself to sleep each evening (or drank a bottle of pumped BM for Husband); afterwards, we carried him up to his crib.

-This kid was seriously dedicated (and still is) to his food.  When he nursed, he would tightly squeeze my finger until he popped off my nipple, leaving a tiny drop of breastmilkrunning down his cheek, similar to how you'd imagine the town drunk reacts to just the right amount of Gin.

-Would awaken once in the middle of the night for a feeding, usually followed by many more hours of sleep (precious, sweet sleep)

April 2014: First High Chair Experience

The Thinker (5 1/2 months)

The Thinker

-Initial sleeps were usually in an inclined Rock N Play or our bed.

-Avoided solids until two weeks ago (5 1/2 months)

-Attempting to do the British "Baby Led Weaning" for introduction to solids; you can read more about this here

-Always gets lunch at his nanny's; may or may not eat breakfast/dinner, usually dependent on if Wild One is screaming at us about having the wrong kind of cracker or Clever has baseball practice

-Nurse him to sleep most evenings, results vary.

-Sometimes stirs awake, up to four times during the night, to be "soothed-nursed" back to sleep. (this is when the addictive cuddling occurs)

If you're still reading (I'm aware baby sleeping habits only target a small audience), I'm sure you can deduce our next steps:

-Feed the baby all meals (when I type this out, it seems obvious and mildly neglectful) when the other children are also eating.  This might mean straying some from the strict guidelines of BLW... this does not make him a bad "weener" (haha, just called my child a "weener")

-Stay consistent with moving The Thinker to his crib when he falls asleep, regardless of how adorable and peaceful he looks sleeping somewhere else.

-Allow Husband to try and sooth The Thinker back to sleep before immediately offering the breast.

-Remember that changing habits takes time.

-Try really hard to remember it's not Husband's fault.

I know that you're anxiously awaiting the results of our efforts.  I will keep you posted on how The Thinker responds to our changes in his eating and sleeping routines.